“Two years ago, I felt frozen by anxiety and past trauma. Fear and self-doubt crawled their way up my throat most days— on the subway, at work, with my friends. I felt isolated and on edge. 

I initially reached out to Sil because I answered “yes” to every single question on her website’s home page. While I don’t consider myself a particularly forthcoming or talkative person by nature, I remember starting to talk before I’d even put down my bag during our first session, the fears I usually preferred to leave unnamed spilling out of me before I could stop them. Sil just instantly put me at ease & made me feel my struggles were worth talking about. 

Over the next two years, we worked through those daily feelings of panic, incompetence, and insufficiency— and slowly, I breathed easier through my workdays. We worked through my trauma and noticed how it affected my ability to accept care from others. My intense self-critique, my struggles with purpose and creativity, my fears about being on a different life path than my friends— nothing was too small or “silly.” Sil listened and responded to it all with equal parts validation and prodding questions. Above all, I think working with Sil helped me learn the value of truly speaking my mind, even if my mind is full of things I don’t fully understand. 

Sil’s ability to make connections and suggest the deeper subconscious currents of my life was incredibly valuable. As was her sense of humor— sometimes the best way to deal with an anxiety was just to name it, and chuckle at how small it looked in the light. And her weekly “homework,” whether a creative project or daily affirmation, gave me the space to keep growing and understanding myself even outside of our sessions.

I did a lot of crying in our sessions. A lot of getting in touch with my body and the places various ideas, feelings, and memories live within me. I discovered joy in memories I had long ago flattened into sadness and terror; I arrived at breakthroughs and states of peace that I thought I would not get to for many more years. I’m incredibly grateful for how much Sil helped me change. ”

“Sil saved me. Well, she taught me to save myself.

When I first came to Sil (virtually during COVID), I was an aimless kid alone in a new city with his own potent cocktail of issues. To name a few: the end of a relationship from which I wasn’t getting closure; unhealed and unconfronted issues stemming from childhood; crippling self-hate. All were potent shadows that masked and distorted my reflection with every glance I stole from the mirror.

Before our first session together, I committed to myself that I would take therapy seriously, and Sil led me through a journey that forever altered my relationship with myself, and led to changing my relationship with everyone else in my life for the better.

With the questions she asked, the exercises she coached me through, and her words of encouragement: Sil was the impetus for me to build myself up and rise to the impossible challenge of looking my most hateful reflection in the eye and saying, “I am worthy of being here, and you will never convince me that I’m unequal to the task of being.”

“I had meetings with Sil for about 4 months towards the end of 2019, and it was easily the best personal investment I made in my entire life. Not only is she extremely honest and genuine in her feedback, she also provided me with tangible skills and learnings that I could walk away with and work on each consecutive week. I kept a little notebook of helpful phrases and quotes that she introduced me to, and much of it still resonates with me every day.

Sil helped me to overcome a lot of obstacles I thought I had in life, simply by helping me to take a step back and look at the problem from a slightly different perspective. There was a phrase that stuck with me towards the end of my sessions, when I had asked why I suddenly felt a lot better. She said that this is the process of planting seeds and later on feeling grateful and rewarded and this could not be more true! She gave me advice that helps in the long term to creating lasting impacts on my character. I feel SO grateful and rewarded for her! Beyond what she has done for me, we’ve also had great conversations about broader topics, specifically therapy for Asian Americans - I appreciate everything she is doing not just for me, but for an entire community.”

“Dear Sil,

When we first met, I knew three things: I was anxious. I was depressed. And I was just fine.

I remember going into our first month of meetings distinctly disgruntled about the whole exercise. Sure, I knew that this therapy thing was supposed to help people who had traumas like I had, but I also assumed that I didn’t really need this help because I was clearly functioning just fine: enrolled in a PhD, holding down a job, in a long-term relationship, caring for family. I was doing it all, and by all measures of outwardly success, managing it all quite well.

I distinctly remember “preparing” for therapy. I would preemptively come up with some aspect to share, usually something about my childhood trauma, and then have a full diagnosis and solution worked out for how to handle this wonky bit of me that I didn’t usually let out anyway. I felt that if I just went through the motions of being a good client/patient, I would also “succeed” and “be good” at therapy. I had studied child and adolescent psychology in college, after all. I could see my own issues. And I could move past them on my own. No biggie.

It’s a testament to your patience and persistence, and unwavering willingness to meet me where I am, that you were able to gain my trust. I could tell, with each passing week, that you saw me: saw me as a whole human, actively listened when I spoke, and reflected back to me the person I wanted to be seen as. In other words, you saw my humanity. And in some aspects, parts of me I didn’t really access until we started working together...

I have no idea how I didn’t see my own queerness. Perhaps it never felt safe enough in my life to really deal with that part of me. But in our sessions together, you made it safe to think through and explore my sexuality. Our work together made me stronger and braver, and the safety you created in the therapy office space meant I could broach something mostly hidden and concealed to even my own self.

I would not be where I am in life if I had never met you. I remember our first conversation over the phone: you generously, and without any condescension, read through my insurance policy with me, making sure it was clear what kind of mental health coverage I had. My fear and anxiety around dealing with the American medical insurance system has been a barrier to care for me in many instances. But you, having never met me, extended the labor and compassion needed to placate and guide me to recognizing I had really darn good coverage!

I think that is what did it. I had to give you a chance after you helped me overcome that hurdle. That same generosity and patience and care would continue to characterize our interactions.

I am now not just surviving; I am thriving. I am now not just fine; I’m happy. It feels counterintuitive to say this but: thank you for helping me cry. To be able to access my emotions, all of them, has been a gift. Therapy has changed my life. I see possibilities and choices and a future of happiness for myself. I couldn’t have said the same things even just two years ago.

Thank you for helping me see how I am supported, and for being a big part of that support as well. Thank you for everything, Sil! ”

“Over the past 6 months I talked to Sil every week I saw tremendous changes in my life. It’s been so transformational. I didn’t think therapy was going to help me much and was against the idea of having someone else working on my own issues. But Sil did so much more than I expected:

Sil is so incredible at understanding and relating to emotional pain. Sometimes I really feel like she is just a friend of mine who genuinely cares and wants to listen. I felt safe to be completely honest with her. Sometimes being able to talk to someone with complete honesty and not having to hold back does half of the healing. Sil was that person for me.

Apart from the emotional release, Sil was also really good at analyzing and tracing the origins of any pain, trauma, and sometimes just the way I think and behave. To me, the process of healing is also a journey of self-discovery. Sil helped me trace things back to earlier years and childhood memories that I myself have long forgotten. She would later link these old experiences to my current situation and explain my mindset and behaviors. Sil helped me understand myself on a much deeper level.

Learning methods to cope, and using “tools” to really get better is some of the most important aspects of this therapy. Sil would always give me “homework” at the end of a session for the following week to teach me ways I can practice mindfulness. We would even do some exercises in session. I saw a better self. I learned that I actually have the tools in my hands to make me happy and worthy.

I’m extremely grateful, and I really would recommend Sil to anyone!”

“I remember the first time I met Sil I was preoccupied with anxiety, slumped on the couch - I had seen 5 therapists at that point all of whom had helped me a little but I was still struggling. Emotionally I felt I was at one of the lowest points of my life. I struggled to make eye contact. One of the first things she said to me was to ask me to sit up and take a deep breath - which startled me, I wasn’t used to therapists focusing on the physicality, the here and now so concretely. I took a deep breath, and then another. And so our sessions began. Sil’s humor and groundedness allowed me to stop spinning myself in analytic and self judging circles, gave me the tools to explore and gain confidence in my life - I am queer, nonbinary and bisexual, without having ever dated someone nonbinary or of the same sex. Now I am in a wonderful relationship with my partner. I have changed my pronouns and my name to better reflect my identity and to share that person with the world. The homework Sil gave me held me accountable and also let me see that my fears could be overcome - whether with my sexual and gender identities or in exploring the creative power of music and writing. I will always be grateful to Sil for helping me. If you want someone to meet you where you are without judgment, with humor and creativity and accountability, then reach out to Sil today.”

“If you have been searching for a therapist who will truly listen, provide space for your whole self, and who can be there to celebrate triumphs and support difficulties - Sil Chen is it :) Working with Sil has given me a grounding sense of self and has allowed me to water the parts of my life that needed watering. She has helped me find peace with my queerness, my footing as a professional creative in a competitive industry, and has given me tools to use when I find myself seemingly lost. She is a compassionate well of information, is supremely kind and I’m incredibly grateful for her wisdom, patience and guidance. I strongly encourage you - if you find yourself wandering and need a bit of support - reach out to Sil :) ”

“Hey Sil,

I hope you’re doing well. And I hope it’s OK to reach out, but I wanted to give you a quick update that I (finally!) got a new job!

It’s at XXX in the YY department. I started a few weeks ago, and so far I’m really enjoying it: my work has a lot more creative elements and I really like my boss and my coworkers.

I wanted to let you know since your support really helped me through my last job, as well as my job search. Thank you for your guidance through all of it — I think I came out of it much more confident and optimistic because of your help. ”

“在和Sil开始咨询之前，我也有尝试过其他的咨询师，但是我个人感觉是自己的经历与感受或是没有完全的被重视，或是被有些许放大。本来都想要放弃对心理咨询的期望，但是在朋友的推荐下还是和Sil取得了联系。Sil在开始之前，会先通过电话了解一些基本情况，由此去判断来访者是否适合她的咨询。这让我感到非常安心，让我感受到她是对每一个来访者都是认真负责的。正式开始咨询之后，我的第一感觉就是觉得和Sil对话非常的有安全感，她给我一种非常开放，包容，平等的感觉，让我能够真切地觉得不管我说什么，我有什么样的情绪，她都是不会来评判我的。在日常生活中大多数时候，我是会很害怕直接表达自己的意见的。但是在咨询的过程中，如果我们对于同一个现象或者问题有不同的解读，或是我觉得她没有完全理解我的意思，我是可以轻松地讲出自己的真实想法的。也正因为我不需要去隐藏和掩饰自己，这让我们的咨询变得很高效。除了每周的面谈，Sil有时还会布置一些“小作业”。在完成作业的过程中，我会真正地发现一些以前我没有注意到的想法或者执念，让我可以更加了解自己。总之，非常感激Sil的咨询，在和Sil咨询的几个月中，我的心态有很明显地改观，开始能够渐渐走出以前经历的阴影，去更理性并且温和地看待它们，面对和悦纳真实的自己并且能够给予自己爱与包容。”

“I think it goes without saying that working with you has been life-changing! I couldn’t have imagined my current life for myself if I were the person I was when I first started seeing you.

I went strawberry picking with my ex over the weekend and she said I feel so much happier than I did when we were together— back then I was so sad and so angry. I’m glad that I have been able to make this progress, and you were certainly instrumental in so much of it. You helped me see and get out of limiting mindsets, letting go of self-conceptions (“broken,” “unlovable,” etc) that kept me bound to certain ways of being. I am much happier now. I haven’t wanted to die in so long (though it hurts me to think of my past self sitting in that space for so many years...), and the truth is I couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you for working with me for so many years!”

“基本情况？

2019年的11月到2020的1月，时长3个月。之前有过心理咨询经历。

大体感受？

这三个月我想真的意味一些什么，从Sil办公室离开的那天，我真正感觉到了是一个生活节点，不仅是时间意义上的，更多是在自我探索上得到了新的突破，很多沉积的问题有了新的回应，最重要的是情绪终于从一个黑暗角落里面拉出来，得到了被重新面对的机会。很长一段时间，情绪一直在生活中被打压得很厉害，但是Sil让我明白了情绪的失控很多时候只是内在问题的表面爆发。同时，更加紧急的是要从此出发，探索真正牵制我们生活的根，无论来源与过往经历还是个人性格。这一切让我明白了，情绪并不有害，因此我更不必觉得感之羞愧。这个过程里，无论是具体事例的分析与解决还是追根溯源的发掘与反省，Sil都让我真正的感觉到被帮助。让这次经历从不同维度都丰富了看待自己的视界，引发更深层次的思考，再次感谢。

Sil如何帮助我？

嗅觉很敏锐。在很多次经历的讲述，Sil经常能捕捉很多的小细节，并且思路清晰的提出假设，建立不同经历之间的联系。不仅仅关乎经历，很多时候我的在场的面部表情或者措辞神态，她都很敏锐的察觉出异样，并且一一指出。这一点保证了我们谈话的完整度，不至于越聊越散，重点不会被错过，不拖泥带水，很正中要害，效率高且确保了话题的延展性。

同时也有实际的建议。心理咨询很长时间是一场拉锯站，很多问题首先花时间找出，再找不同参照对比再到解决之前，是费时费力的，更重要的，会耗费信心。在这次经历里，Sil也常常能给出实际的小练习和小建议，我受益良多。首先，这让我对每周的心理咨询都是有期待的，因为经常可以从这些小练习里看到自己的进步，让我对更多即将到来的问题不畏惧。其次，更不会让我陷入对治愈自己的恐慌里，不至于觉得无助，这些小练习带来的效用，积少成多，最终可以撼动到一些巨石。

不可思议的关怀。在3个月的过程里，也感觉到了陪伴与关怀，除开自己一股脑的诉说，Sil也会反问我一些生活里的细节，或者有关我投注热情的事业。虽然是很细节的提问，但很奇妙的也提醒了我生活里那些很基础的，很单纯的让人开心的事。就像是噩梦中有人叫你醒来，让这次咨询不是只关乎苦难。”

“I had thought about going to talk therapy for years but fears of being judged by a stranger, the unknown, and old social stigmas kept me away. Sil dispelled all of my misconceptions in short order and we were able to work towards a paradigm-shifting breakthrough for myself. Together we unearthed trauma I had buried in my heart for the last 15 years and the lightness I feel now is indescribable. I’m kicking myself for not seeking therapy sooner and have been telling anyone who will listen to just go. Thank you, Sil, for your amazing work!”

“I started therapy with Sil because I had poor self-esteem and struggled to assert myself. I didn’t know at the time that my problem was low self-esteem; I only knew that I was always anxious and unhappy. Sil helped me untangle the anxiety through the course of many conversations. She was patient, empathetic, and supportive. She had a real knack for getting me to reconsider my assumptions. Over the course of three years, I was able to unpack and let go of many deeply held negative beliefs about myself and the world. I ultimately gained the assertiveness and confidence needed to change my life for the better. I highly recommend working with her.”

“Over the past few years of working together, Sil has been immensely helpful in guiding me to explore and embody my authentic self. Our sessions have been a place for me to delve into what my “authentic self” means without judgment (from Sil’s end; from my end, that is something that I am still working on). Sil also consistently supported me in examining and overcoming mindset blocks to achieve my goals and ultimately living out a happier life. Moving away to start the next chapter of my life means leaving therapy with Sil, and it feels like leaving home for me, but with the tools I’ve learned during our sessions, I feel confident that I’ll be able to continue the ongoing work that we started together as I embark on this new journey.”

“As someone who has been in the mental health field since 1986, both as a clinician and as an administrator, I have had the opportunity to supervise many clinicians at all stages of their careers. Sil has been one of my supervisees and has shown herself to be both compassionate and dedicated to helping each client achieve their individual goals. She always sees the client’s strengths and demonstrates tremendous faith in unearthing the potential in all of her clients. Instead of letting the diagnosis outline her treatment plan, she possesses the rare ability to truly start where the client is and is creative and unorthodox in providing the most suitable and effective treatment. She is exceptionally committed to her clients and maintains high standards and ethics in her work. I highly recommend Sil with my utmost confidence.”

“After working alongside Sil for over five years in an adult outpatient setting, her skills as an empathetic, knowledgeable and dynamic therapist are evident. Sil has a calming presence for and genuine dedication to those she treats. She also has an open mindedness, urban savviness and diverse background that allow her to make anybody feel at home in her office. I recommend Sil with pleasure and confidence.”

“I’ve had the pleasure of working with Sil for the past several years in an outpatient mental health clinic, and I highly recommend Sil for anyone’s personal journey of growth and recovery. Sil demonstrates mastery of therapeutic skills to help her clients manage their symptoms and return to a fully functional lifestyle. Her therapy approach is also particularly culturally sensitive and personally empowering. Anyone who values the metropolitan aspect of New York City would greatly appreciate a therapist like Sil, who simply “gets it.” Not only will you reach your personal goals through therapy with Sil, you can also be assured that your journey will be marked with comfort and support.”

“Sil has been a colleague of mine since a year ago, and she is also my office neighbor and a pleasure to work with. I highly recommend her as a therapist, for she genuinely cares about her clients and goes above and beyond to help those in need. If you are ready to work on yourself, I would recommend Sil as your therapist without any reservation. She would be a really great asset to your journey as she is smart and insightful, warm and supportive, and very skilled in the mental health field.”

“Sil Chen has designed and delivered a workshop like no other. Her research data on the Asian-American community alone is worth attendance. Sil has researched, gathered and organized a cache of information I don’t believe exists anywhere else. She delivers the historical, cultural, and clinical material in a beautifully balanced presentation of charts & graphs, experiential exercises, Q & A, as well as clinical and personal examples. Sil knows of what she speaks and brings this “data” to life. During this download of voluminous ideas, I felt engaged by Sil’s expertise, enthusiasm, humor and obvious passion for her work with this community. While Sil’s workshop focuses on the Asian-American community, the clinically-sound and heart-centered methodology, mindset and techniques she is teaching, had me thinking about all of my clients and how our differences influence, interfere with or contribute to our working together. I left this workshop renewed and excited to return to work Monday morning, to see with fresh eyes. ”

“Sil’s workshop was full of nuanced and fascinating information for therapists to help understand the differences between American individualistic culture and Asian collectivist cultures and how that can affect clinical work. I was eager to enroll given that culture is a constant topic with my first generation Asian clients, and Sil’s skill and compassion with the material exceeded my expectations. I found it to be a perfect opportunity as a white therapist to increase my knowledge of Asian cultures, the specific challenges for first generation clients, and related clinical applications, so the burden of my education on these issues is not loaded on my clients. It’s really true that I’m seeing themes from Sil’s workshop come up all the time with my Asian clients and it’s so helpful. I can’t thank her enough!”

“Wanting to learn more about and increase cultural responsiveness to my growing number of Asian and Asian-American clients, I signed up for Sil Chen’s training on Gestalt Therapy with Asian Americans: Guidelines and Special Considerations. I found the training to be highly informative and illuminating, filled with practical skills and case examples that made it easy to envision myself applying the aforementioned skills and knowledge in sessions. Sil’s presentation was highly engaging, and despite my complete lack of training in Gestalt therapy, was easily digestible. Indeed, I now find myself interested in learning more about Gestalt theory and techniques. I appreciate Sil’s offering such a valuable perspective to a clinical conversation.”

“As an Asian, and as a Therapist, Sil’s workshop did not only educate me more on how to be culturally aware when working with Asian-American clients, but also helped me feel heard and understood personally. Sil’s extensive knowledge and research on the topic, helped me add tools and new perspectives to my own practice. The way she presented us with a wide variety of case examples, also helped the knowledge to sink in and made the workshop a fun and engaging process.

If you are an Asian or non-Asian therapist looking to expand your cultural awareness and therapy toolbox, this workshop is definitely for you!”

“I really enjoyed this workshop. It was informative and practical, and brought to light many important considerations for working with Asian-American clients. We must be aware of our clients’ culture lest we unknowingly pathologize culturally normative behavior. The information I learned here gives me a clearer lens to see my Asian-American clients through and meet them where they are.”

“I highly recommend this workshop as Sil Chen has expertly and clearly shown the power of Gestalt therapy in working with the Asian-American population.”

“I found this workshop working with Asian Americans both unique, and extremely informative. Unique because the focus of this workshop was Asian Americans and Sil Chen is an immigrant from Taiwan herself and was able to share information as well as experiences from a very personal perspective.

In addition, Ms. Chen projected an informal and comfortable manner which encouraged an open and friendly interaction. There were lots of questions and a lot of sharing among the participants during the workshop. I think Ms. Chen’s personal and open style definitely helped create a better learning experience.

I highly recommend this type of workshop to any practitioner who is working cross culturally with Asian-American clients.”

“Sil has a wonderful, real, authentic presentation style which creates a safe space for attendees to interact, learn and absorb the information in a way that can be applied to the respective populations we serve. It feels very much like communal learning, which I personally appreciate, as opposed to just a lecture. As a result of Sil’s ability to organize the information, I can now expand more of what we’ve been doing in my agency and help the diverse population that we serve, along with the diverse population that we employ. Thank you Sil!”

“This workshop is chock full of important information about Asian Americans, by an Asian American with tons of experience working with Asian Americans. The content was thorough, useful and well-researched. The gestalt aspects were clearly presented and the case examples were illuminating. In short, this class is time well-spent.”

“Sil Chen’s workshop illuminated the patterns I am observing in my own work with Asian and Asian-American clients. To consider how more Individualistic/Western values contrast with more Collectivist/Eastern values has helped me find new frameworks and language to help clients articulate the anxiety this conflict can create. The workshop also helped me do something that has to be central to my practice — questioning how my western education as a clinician may be creating bias in the way I measure progress with Asian clients. I would recommend spending five hours reflecting on this content to any therapist who wants to treat Asian and Asian-American clients with more empathy and proficiency.”