I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I just feel kinda “down” or “blah” for no obvious reason. While some people might have an idealized image of us psychotherapists, let me point out the obvious: Therapists are humans too, and we don’t always wake up feeling like the Optimus Prime we strive to be by the time you see us in the office.
Well, this morning was one of those “blah” mornings. The sun was shining. The sky was blue. If I’d tried hard enough, I’m pretty certain I could’ve heard the birds chirping. BUT, I was just not feeling it. As I was moving about slowly through my morning routine with ZERO enthusiasm, lighting struck: “Hey, why don’t you practice those ‘strategies’ you constantly preach to your clients for lifting their spirits when they’re feeling depressed?” And so I did.
Within 20-30 minutes, I was perky and motivated with more oomph in every step I was taking. Next time you’re feeling down in the dumps, deploy some of the 10 “quick fixes” below. Tip: Do not overthink it; setting yourself up for success means picking the ones that instantly leap out at you. They may well help you get out of the funk faster than you’d think!
1. Do Something Nice for Yourself (a.k.a. Give Yourself Some Love)
We hear about the importance of self-care a lot. While it’s an easy idea for us to appreciate, what people don’t realize is that, it’s just as easily neglected! Surprised? Maybe not if you reflect on it.
So, coming back to this morning, you know what I did after lightning struck me? I headed for the kitchen to grind the Colombia Jordani coffee beans (roasted by my favorite local coffee house) in the burr grinder I received for one of my birthdays, inhaling the intoxicating aroma that woke up my senses while I was at it. I then made myself a really nice cup of black coffee with my AeroPress, also a gift from beloved friends. Next, I indulged myself with some private time with The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, a “fun” book recently gifted to me, while sipping on my handcrafted coffee slowly in my sun-drenched living room. Instead of rushing to get the “important” things done, this was exactly what I needed! I emerged happy, grounded, and filled with appreciation.
You see, I’m the type of person who tends to feel guilty reading books that don’t seem to directly enhance my clinical skills or me as a person. We all have different manifestations of this mentality going on in life. While we are relentless in our focus of being industrious and productive (overachieving at times), most people are behind the curve when it comes to regularly pampering themselves with things that delight them. Don’t underestimate the power of self-care. My clients often report an increased sense of well-being and self-worth once they truly recognize the importance of self-care and start practicing it religiously. Think of it this way: Slowing down to give yourself some tender loving care is actually getting ahead of the game! Treat yourself right and see how it catapults you to positivity effortlessly.
2. Do Something Nice for Someone Else
“Helping others is the root of happiness.” This is a cliché Chinese saying, and clichés are cliché often because they speak the truth. For us humans, doing something for another person makes us feel great; we are biologically wired this way. It doesn’t even take something heroic for our happiness neurotransmitters to fire off. Helping a mother carry the stroller up the subway stairs, giving directions to a lost tourist, sending a warm and fuzzy text to your partner or friend when s/he least expects it, pulling out the change in your pocket for a homeless person, or even just saying hello to a stranger in today’s busy world—any of these small acts of kindness will make the day for your lucky someone and, of course, yourself.
3. Count Your Blessings
Another cliché? Not so fast. Research has shown that cultivating a habit of gratitude increases our satisfaction with life, boosts our optimism about the future, improves our relationships with others, and even enhances the length and quality of our sleep at night! This is one of my go-to “strategies” to quickly nip the bad mood in the bud.
If somehow you are still dubious about the positive power of gratitude on your state of well-being—pause now, close your eyes, take a few minutes of private and honest time with yourself, and really contemplate all the big and small things that are going well in your life. Notice how grateful feelings that well up inside naturally lift your mood? THAT'S what I’m talking about.
If you find it hard to focus in your mind and need something more concrete, take out a pen and a piece of paper and write down what you are grateful for. Don’t forget to count the wonderful things and people that we often take for granted (e.g., good health, hot water, smartphones, our significant others, our family, etc.); just imagine, how would your life be if they were to disappear overnight? Count your blessings! If this tip is right up your alley, consider keeping a gratitude journal daily to reap even more benefits.
4. Get That Thing off Your To-Do List
When we are feeling very down, we can get so lethargic and unmotivated to the point that the simple act of getting out of bed seems to require a colossal amount of effort. When my clients bring this to me, I tell them point-blank: Staying inactive only intensifies and prolongs the lethargy and low motivation. If you want to feel better, this is where a simple technique called “Opposite to Emotion Action” comes in handy. The idea is very simple: If your negative emotion gives you the urge to do something, then you want to engage in the opposite action. Think of it as conducting emotional transformation on yourself! In the case of lethargy and low motivation, the urge would actually be to do nothing. Leveraging this technique means a call for the opposite action of doing something.
Take myself for example, when I’m not feeling great or energetic, taking care of things on my to-do list gets my body moving and gives me a sense of achievement, which in turn boosts my mood. Strategy-wise, I usually start with checking off the smaller to-do’s on my list and then step it up as my energy level increases. This is also a tried-and-true method backed by many of my clients.
5. Get Some Sunlight
Living the long winter months in New York has definitely given me a deeper appreciation for the sun. You probably know people who feel particularly depressed during the wintertime. Perhaps you know this feeling all too well yourself. This condition is called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), more commonly known as winter blues or winter depression.
Research in Japan has found a link between low sunlight exposure and suicide. It is also known that elderly people in big cities like Tokyo are especially susceptible to depression. Why? Because they often don’t get to go out as much, and the clustering of towers and skyscrapers significantly cuts down on the amount of sunlight that actually gets to them. Scientists would tell you this makes sense, because sunlight boosts the levels of serotonin, one of the happiness hormones, which in turn positively affects our moods. To give you a sense of how powerful serotonin is, the most commonly prescribed class of antidepressants is called the SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), which function by blocking the re-absorption of serotonin to keep its levels higher in the brain.
Additionally, sunlight is also known to help with our natural production of Vitamin D, and research has shown that low levels of Vitamin D is correlated with symptoms of depression.
Last but not least, exposure to sunlight shuts off our body’s production of melatonin and helps us properly regulate our circadian rhythm, which is crucial for improving our quality of sleep at night. Specifically, getting direct sunlight for at least 15-30 minutes a day, preferably in the early morning between 6 to 8:30 am, is known to produce the most benefit. And we all know that when we sleep well, it’s hard not to feel better and more energetic!
6. Move Your Tushie
Exercise is also known to increase the production and release of serotonin. What’s more, it also helps our bodies produce the feel-good, stress-reducing neuropeptides called endorphins. Endorphins, also known as “endogenous morphine,” are what contribute to the “runner’s high” that many avid runners enjoy or even become “addicted” to. Fortunately, running isn’t the only way to benefit from these wonderful neuropeptides, so don’t worry if running is not your cup of tea. Taking a brisk walk, dancing, or even doing some jumping jacks right where you are can all do the trick!
Endorphins are also natural painkillers, and those who live with chronic pain all know very well the negative effects of pain on their moods. While we often feel tempted to skip our workout when we’re in pain, exercise is actually one of the best ways to reduce that pain. Just remember to choose an exercise that’s appropriate for your physical condition, get moving, and let the endorphins do their job!
7. Smile & Laugh Out Loud
Smiling and laughing, just like exercising, are also known to trigger the release of endorphins that make us feel happy. When we’re feeling down, however, we often feel that life is just miserable and that there is nothing worth smiling or laughing about. Now here is something about your brain that you probably don’t know yet: Faking a smile or a laugh actually works just as well as the real thing, because your brain can’t tell the difference between the two! Your brain releases endorphins by interpreting the positioning of your facial muscles that characterize a smile or a laugh. In other words, you can mechanically initiate the release of endorphins!
If you don’t believe it, try making a big goofy smile now even if you’re not feeling it, and then try to talk about something absolutely sad and miserable while having that blinding smile plastered on your face. See how difficult it is?
I remember ages ago, before I knew any of this, my dad dragged me to “laughter yoga” with him once. I was super reluctant to participate in such a seemingly absurd and “uncool” activity because, with a bunch of total strangers, we were to form a circle and laugh for no particular reason for an hour with the help of some physical movements. Initially, it was indeed difficult for me to laugh without feeling extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable, but let me tell you, group laughter is über-contagious (now you know the psychology behind why comedy shows are often recorded with a laughing audience in the background). Before long, I was laughing so uncontrollably and genuinely, so much so that my abdomen started hurting! Half way into the hour, I was even asked to lead the group to laugh by coming up with random silly movements that everyone had to follow. What a blast I had!
If you still can’t conjure up a smile or a laugh, try watching a comedy or reviewing photos that captured your happy memories to facilitate your mood transformation. If for whatever reason you really can’t do this on your own, the following tip is for you.
8. Call Your Cheerful Friend
I can’t stress enough how important it is to have the support of others when we’re feeling down and out. A phone call to a supportive, upbeat friend can quickly turn your mood around and also make you smile and laugh in no time. Notice I say “supportive” and “upbeat,” because the worst thing that can happen when we’re already feeling depressed is to have someone dismiss or criticize us, and we probably won’t benefit much from talking to someone who is just as depressed and miserable as we are. If possible, ask your supportive, upbeat friend out to enjoy some quality time together. When you are back on your feet, strive to be this person for your friends as well.
9. Meditate or Do Your Warrior Pose
In this current era, I don’t believe you need me to belabor the countless benefits of meditation, and just in case you’re wondering, many of these benefits have been repeatedly and independently verified by scientific studies all over the world. In addition to mental and psychological benefits—such as reduced anxiety and depression, improved emotional stability, and increased creativity, mental clarity, and concentration—meditation also provides critical physical health benefits—such as lowered blood pressure and cholesterol, improved immune system, decreased pain, increased energy level, and even slowed cellular aging!
Regular meditation practice is such a wonderful way of life for reducing our physical and emotional stress and increasing our sense of peacefulness and well-being. When you are caught up in the spinning cyclone of negativity, just sitting quietly for a few minutes while focusing on your breath can calm your mind and help you feel more grounded, thus creating the space for a more positive perspective on your life situation. Research has shown that a mere one-minute meditation every hour throughout the workday can greatly reduce stress and anxiety, improve mood, and increase work productivity.
Meditation takes practice, and the more you do it, the better you will get at it. If you find sitting meditation difficult, another great option is yoga, which has a meditative component and likewise can reduce your stress and elevate your mood.
10. Visualize A Happier You
The power of visualization can’t be emphasized enough. When you close your eyes and see yourself vividly in an image that brings you serenity and joy, it initiates a cascade of neural activity in your brain that ultimately leads to profound positive effects on your mood. You can go wild with your imagination, whether it’s tanning on a beach with a cocktail in hand and roaring waves in the distance, a rainforest with birds and insects conducting the most amazing orchestra just for you, or your dream home after you’ve finally completed the ultimate home theater just in time for the season premiere of your favorite show. Let your imagination rip.
Another popular visualization favorite is reliving one’s most precious memories, such as reenacting your past accomplishments (e.g., receiving an award on stage with everyone applauding for you, winning a pivotal sports game that set the record for the school, crossing the finishing line for a half-marathon, etc.), recalling the most unforgettable memories with your loved ones that always melt your heart, or playing a mental slideshow of the most amazing trips and adventures you’ve experienced. Studies have shown that remembering happy events also increases serotonin production in the brain!
Want to know another powerful visualization application that the seasoned pros take advantage of? Visualize your future self having achieved your goals and dreams (e.g., friends and family dropping their jaws when you rock that pair of jeans you’ve always wanted after losing that 15 lbs, hitting the “send” button to your editor after finishing the final revision of your first book, being congratulated by bosses and coworkers for a promotion that’s finally going to let you shine as brightly as you were born to shine, etc.). Again, let your imagination fill in all the details.
The key to effective visualization is to engage all of your senses to experience these moments as vividly as possible. Enjoying a few minutes in the “imaginary” world may well brighten up your “real” world and lighten up your mood.
